I can’t believe it’s been so long since I last wrote on my little blog! I don’t have any excuses other than…life. There is much to tell about what has gone on since my last post, but that’s not why I’m here today.
It’s January, so that must mean it’s time for a new WOTY, or Word of the Year, OneWord365, or whatever phrase you use to identify it. For the past few years I have chosen a word (or it has chosen me) to give me some direction for that year. Generally I start out strong and then…life.
I have to admit, I am not a fan of this year’s word, which is probably why it chose me. An online friend brought up the One Word question a few weeks ago so I started paying attention to see if a particular word would become obvious to me. I mentally perked up my ears and started considering the merits of the weighty words I heard in my everyday life. Then one morning I was driving to work and I happened to click over to the Christian radio station, and as I was listening to the song, the word “surrender” popped into my head. And like the obedient child of God that I am, I said, “Oh, God – not that one!” and quickly changed the station. But it was too late. Surrender had started to take root in my mind.
A couple of days later I was talking on the phone to my good friend Pam, rehashing our holidays with family and talking about our children. Several times in the conversation she used the word “surrender” until I finally had to ask her to stop saying that word. There have been other instances that confirmed “surrender” so I finally…surrendered to my fate.
As I have thought more about it, I realize that surrender doesn’t always have to simply mean “giving in”. When you surrender you are ceding control to a force that is stronger than yours. You stop fighting. The war is over and peace can now be achieved. Heaven knows I do not like to give up control so this is going to be a year of learning for me. I can surrender to Him because He is trustworthy, and in surrendering maybe I can find some peace. I can stop trying so hard to keep all the plates spinning because He is in control after all.
There is also the aspect of surrendering your worries – essentially laying them down at His feet. (I did consider “Let It Go” as my word but sometimes I get stuck on rules and that is three words, so no. But basically it’s the same.) Surrendering my children to His rule and not my own control. Not holding onto stuff (worries, anger, grudges, not to mention literal “stuff”). I am, after all, a Nerdy Wordy Girl who can turn a word inside out to find all the possible implications.
Clearly this is a something I can work on and maybe by the end of the year I will find myself in a better place spiritually. It’s a scary word and it drums up all kinds of vulnerable feelings, but it feels necessary. Stay tuned.