Move: Finding Church (A One Word 365 Update)


Time just flies.  It’s hard to believe that it’s been nearly a year since our move to Virginia was set into motion.  A year of unknowns and questions about whether we were doing the right thing.  Were we scarring our children by making them move away from their friends and further away from family?  After all, they were 2 and 5 when we moved to South Carolina so it was pretty much all they knew.  Concerns about ourselves – could we start over in another place?  Weighed against all the worries and concerns was the soul-deep conviction that moving was something God was calling us to do.  Security is not to be found in places, things, even people – our only security is in Him.  Sometimes I think He likes to shake things up.  After all, if we get too comfortable it’s very easy to buy into the illusion that we have life all under control. Complacency is not consistent with faith, in my opinion.

One of our first priorities once we moved was finding a church.  Our church in SC was a dynamic, outward-focused church body led by a passionate man of God.  We knew that we were not going to find a carbon copy of Lifesong Church here in our new town but we were sure (hopeful?) that we could find one with a mission and vision that resonated with us.  With daughters ages 10 and 13, it was vitally important that our kids get involved, something that had never happened during our years in SC.  While it is not the fault of the “church” as a whole, when we moved away after 7 years, neither of my children had a single church friend. I can’t explain it or put my finger on the exact reason why, but there it is. So high on the “desired qualities” list was a church where our daughters were, if not excited, at least willing to go.  The teen years are hard enough even with strong family support – we wanted our children to have other Godly adults around them who could mentor them along the way.

We also wanted a place where we could serve in the body, and not just a place where people went to be served.  We believe in small groups and the part they play in a healthy church body. We didn’t want a clique or a closed group or a place that required you to dress “just so”. We wanted a church who was community-minded.  That sounds kind of like a wish list, which I guess it is. There’s no perfect church because they’re all full of imperfect people, right?

We visited several churches before we found one that both girls were excited about. Coincidentally, Jon and I felt it was the right place for our family.  In fact, God confirmed it for us in lots of little ways.

Our teenager has jumped right in with both feet, which is totally out of character for her.  She’s already active in the youth group, sings in the youth praise band, and just came back from her first youth retreat, where she wrote a worship song in response to the message she heard. The leader of the youth praise band is going to help her figure out the chords so they can set it to music  Y’all.  My heart is spilling over that my little girl is hearing/feeling God stirring in her heart.  And she’s responding with music. I can’t even.


Our younger girl is attending Sunday School, which hasn’t happened in yearsYears.  She’s not complaining about going to church anymore.  She’s made friends there that she looks forward to seeing.

The preaching is straight from the Word. The pastors are speaking the Truth in love and it is obvious that God is moving in that place.

But can I be honest here?  It’s scary, y’all.  These people at our new church all know each other.  This is a church that broke away from a larger church body over theological issues and a crisis like that tends to bond people. I’ve stepped out in faith, pulse pounding in my throat, walking into various church functions with a smile on my face and terror in my heart. I’m an introvert and I’m shy (those don’t necessarily go together, despite what you may think) and between the two of them I’d just rather stay home and read a book, thank you very much. All the middle school (or junior high, if you’re my age) feels are back:  do they like me? Did I say something stupid? And I going to say something stupid? What am I supposed to say? And then sometimes I get so focused on NOT acting shy that I go too far the other way by getting all loud and talky.

And tonight I’m doing it again, that stepping out with heart pounding and smile pasted on my face.  I’m going to my first choir rehearsal and I don’t know if I will know anyone there, but I’m still going. I never thought I’d sing in a choir or worship team ever again.  I truly thought that time in my life was over, until last Sunday when they asked for volunteers and I felt that little voice whisper, “Go.” So I am, trusting that He’s got it all covered.  Next Monday I’m going to a new ladies’ Bible study group and I’ll be nervous all over again but I’ll go, trusting that it’s going to get easier.  It will, right?

Sometimes I get weary of the “new” and I wish for just one situation where I feel at home.  The stores are different (no Publix, BiLo or Ingles, but there IS Kroger).  The gas stations are different (there’s no QT!), the restaurants are different (no Zaxby’s, or Krystal, among others).  I hear no Southern accent here except for mine.  I’m not kidding: people ask me where I’m from.  It would be nice to escape to a friend’s house where I’ve been there so often it feels comfortable and familiar or at least a store that I know like the back of my hand.  I’m getting there.  We do have some friends.  We’re making connections and memories here and I know in a few years I will read this entry and smile and shake my head at the 2014 version of me that had no idea what blessings God had in store.  I know this as well as I know my own name. But there are days when I feel old and I remember that when they were my age my grandparents and parents were settled into life in a town they had lived in nearly their whole lives, and here I am, the one who left her home state for another one and now lives somewhere else entirely. I feel so unsettled some days.

But I digress.

Here’s the thing:  these people at our new church? They’re people just like me and each one has a story. I don’t know theirs and they don’t know mine but if I stay home curled up on the couch with my book, tempting as that may be, we’ll never get the chance to share.  Who knows? Maybe something in their story will resonate with me or something in mine will touch them.  Well, God knows, and I have to believe that He puts me (and us) into the situations of His choosing so that He can use me.  Nothing is wasted in His world.

So I look ahead and I move forward knowing that God is putting people in our lives that we need and who need us, and sometimes the two are even folded up into the same person.  And I’m eager to see what lies ahead in the life of this church, and in our lives as part of this church. God has great plans for us here.  I just know it.


8 thoughts on “Move: Finding Church (A One Word 365 Update)

  1. Well, thanks for making me cry, friend… Happy, glad and sad all at once for this brave new world you are stepping into. Happy– that Q and K are growing in their spiritual lives. Glad –that you are thinking about choir again. Sad– of course, that I am here and you are there, but that makes me appreciate our friendship of five years( or was it six?) all the more! It is going to get easier, and all those strangers will become friends–even if they aren’t true southerners!:). Keep telling your story!

    • Once she gets the tune all worked out I need to send you the song. The words are so beautiful! She is taking voice lessons from a wonderful lady at our new church and I have a great feeling about that. But I still miss you and wish you were nearby so we could explore together or drop in on each other to beg for coffee. You are one of those comfortable, familiar places I wrote about.

  2. Kim,

    Your words resonate with so much of where my heart was last May. And we now are being told we may have to move again, about two hours away for Bryan to run his own office. God does certainly like to shake things up!
    I know how scary it is to walk into some place new and have those high school jitters of vulnerability again. But our God opened more doors for me and my family than I ever could have imagined when we moved here. And I know He will do it again if we move in 2016. I’m so glad your girls are thriving. And you keep on singing my friend, that door is not closed.

    • Thanks, Sarah! I can’t believe you’re facing the possibility of moving again! Thanks for the encouragement, friend. I’m still singing and I can’t believe I was willing to throw in the towel. God still has more for me to do in that area, I think. Hugs to you and little Anna!

  3. Love that you guys are jumping in and making your new place a home! What a blessing to have found a church that you all feel good about and are beginning to make connections with. Praying for God’s continued blessings on your family! Much love!

    • Thanks Holly! I learned a lot from our move to SC, namely that if I waited for people to come to me I might be waiting a long time. We do enjoy this church and really feel like this is the place for us. 🙂

  4. Kim, it’s been almost 10 months since we moved. I know and understand…moving is hard and finding a new church is very hard.

    I had lunch with another woman from church the other day and left thinking “does she like me enough to have lunch again or did I blow it?”. It’s worse than dating!

    I have to keep reminding myself that it takes a good year to feel settled and even longer to really develop deep friendships. We’re in a rental and long to be in the neighborhood God has planned. It’s keeping us from feeling settled…

    Praying God bonds you quickly to other women in your church and community!

    • It IS just like dating! I’ve often thought that myself, and believe me, I’m way too old to think about dating again. I totally get that “post-game analysis” thing that happens after you meet or get together with someone. I have to keep reminding myself that I have to just be who I am because to put on a mask is a waste of time and won’t result in “real” relationships anyway. I’m praying that you find yourself in the community that God intends for you and soon.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s