Five Minute Friday: True

I love this time of the week – the time I get the joy of joining together with brave writers all over the globe to write freely and with abandon for five minutes.  No overthinking, no over-editing, just writing for the pleasure of writing.  Want to play along?  Visit http://www.lisajobaker.com for all the details.

One thing I am good at is admitting the truth to myself.  I know who I am and what I am, and there’s not much point in trying to kid around and fool myself, because I’m not falling for it.  I’ve always been a black-and-white person with very little gray area, and in my mind right is right and wrong is wrong.  It is what it is.  The same is true of me.  I am what I am, and what  you see is what you get.  Mostly.

Today I’m going to tell you some things that are true about me.

*I had a very messy childhood that involved a divorce, an absent father, and quite a bit of dysfunction and upheaval.  I like to think I escaped unscathed from the icky parts but deep down I know I really didn’t.  I just cover it well.

*I don’t like to need people.  I am fiercely independent, independent to a fault.  I’m doing better but still would rather do things myself than depend on someone else.  This is not a good way to make your spouse feel needed.

*I am something of a lazy housekeeper.  There are so many more interesting things to do than clean house, so I tend to do what is necessary for sanitary living and leave the rest.  Do not ask me the last time I washed my baseboards because you will not like the answer.

*I cover a canyon of insecurity with a fragile tent of good humor and quick wit (at least I like to *think* I’m funny).  And I’m still wondering if people like me, even as I try to act like I don’t care.

*I have two challenging children at home, and they are challenging in diametrically opposite ways.  Sometimes I have trouble changing gears from the sensitive one to the controlling one, and I rarely talk about my parenting challenges because I feel so inadequate to the job.  I feel like no one is going to understand my particular circumstances and it’s going to come across as whining, so I just keep it to myself.

So there are some true things about me.  What about you?

 

 

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14 thoughts on “Five Minute Friday: True

  1. Kim…to admit we don’t have it all together and offer it up as an open door is so hard and so brave. Keep going. You are doing an excellent job and Jesus is there to help you fill in the gaps. Thank you for sharing.

    xoxo

  2. “I cover a canyon of insecurity with a fragile tent of good humor and quick wit (at least I like to *think* I’m funny). And I’m still wondering if people like me, even as I try to act like I don’t care.”

    Kim I so identify. I just so get this. Thanks for your honesty here. May you sense Jesus filling in your gaps, friend.

  3. I love this. Thank you for being so honest. And please remove your microphone from my head, because it sounds like things at your house are very similar to my own (let’s do ANYTHING except housework, okay??). I’m so glad you share some of yourself with us. (Here’s my share: my youngest started kindergarten and I had a brief talk with my husband about expectations concerning the house stuff. I told him I didn’t plan to have things suddenly turn all immaculate and organized just because the kids are mostly in school. His answer? “Oh, I would never expect that.” Now I could just thank him, or I could take offense because he must think the house is a dump and I’m incapable of getting things put together. Either way, I left him with no good answer didn’t I? End share. 🙂

  4. Besides the divorce and absent father, yes, to it all. I feel you, friend. You can come over to my messy house and make me laugh, or I’ll make you laugh and we’ll talk about all the stuff, and the crazy hard thing that is mothering. You are brave for speaking this truth, Kim. Brave words right here.

  5. I feel like I have known you more and more over the past months… but here this honesty, this is the reminder why I so completely and utterly love you! Thank you for sharing your truth here and trusting us with it… 4 weeks friend… 4 weeks and I will hug your neck!

  6. Our childhoods may have been different but I feel like you wrote the rest of this about me. But how beautiful when we can be honest with ourselves and then turn it over to God

  7. Amazing, Kim. I have loved this prompt — being able to know and love the women behind the writing is something truly wonderful. And I’m excited to get to know you better through our (in)courage group, too!

  8. Amazing, friend…it takes a lot of bravery to throw the truth out there. Thank you for this. I can so relate to the first one…my childhood was very similar. Just now, in my mid-30’s, I’m starting to deal with some of these things head-on. It’s ugly and completely freeing all at the same time. Blessings and hugs to you. 🙂

  9. Girl… we could SO hang out! Oh wait… we will! We WILL hang out in just 4 weeks! (Oh and that clean house thing? Yeah… that. And I love to have people over all the time… I just got over it and I will let you know… baseboards? really? We’re supposed to clean those?) 😉

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