What You Need to Know About Me Before Allume

Allume is my first ever blog conference and I can hardly wait to meet all my online friends face to face!  It’s only been recently that I started to consider myself a “real” blogger/writer and therefore “worthy” to attend Allume.  But before I go, let me share some information about myself that the other attendees and my roommates might need to know.  Fair warning, you might say.

1)  Attention roomies:  my husband says I snore.  I’ve never heard it myself so I think he’s just making that up.  But I’m bringing enough earplugs to share (new ones, of course), just in case, because I’m a very light sleeper.  Seems like if that snoring thing were really true, I’d wake myself up, right?  So unless you want me bringing a box fan to run all night for the white noise, earplugs are a must for me.

2)   I’m not a big hugger.  At least I say I’m not.  I seem to tolerate them pretty well.  Maybe I just don’t hug first due to some underlying fear of rejection.  I mean, what if I go in for a hug and the other person sticks out their hand for me to shake?  I’ve noticed more and more lately that I’m the hugger and not always just the huggee so maybe I’m slowly getting over that hug aversion thing.

3)  I like my coffee very light and very sweet.  If you have a problem with sugar, you’d best not watch me fix my coffee in the morning.  I won’t even get coffee at McDonald’s any more because they ask you how many creamers and sugars you want and I’m too embarrassed to tell them how many I really want.

4)  I talk a good game, in the “fake it til you make it” sense, thinking if I pretend long enough it will eventually come true.  I cover my weak spots with bravado and jokes.  I like to think and act like I’m tough but certain things can turn me to mush.  Kodak commercials, for instance.  Having said that, I don’t find myself moved to tears a lot, but when I am…

5)  …I am not a pretty crier.  You know the girl who looks all serene while a single tear slips daintily down her cheek?  That is so not me.  Red and blotchy face, runny nose, squinchy eyes – that’s me.  Maybe that’s why I don’t cry very often.  And if you try to comfort me it’s just going to make me cry harder, so don’t be alarmed.  It’s not you, it’s me.  Really.

6)  I’ve lived long enough to know that everyone, famous or not, is still just a person underneath it all.  So if I meet someone at Allume who I admire (and there are lots of them on the schedule!), I will try my best to treat them the way I’d want to be treated if the situation were reversed.  If anyone at Allume truly desires to be treated as a rock star, they will be sorely disappointed in me.  (I am quite sure that no one at Allume feels they should be treated as a rock star, so I think I’m safe.)

7)  I like to think I’m pretty funny so I crack jokes a lot, especially at awkward moments.  I am incredibly gifted at sarcasm but I’ve yet to find a way to wield that gift without verbally smacking someone in the face with it, so I try to keep it on the down low.  I’m also not above playing some mild (not mean) tricks for a good laugh, so telling me that you need your glasses first thing in the morning was probably not a good idea. (Tonya, I’m looking at you!)

8)  Everything and I do mean everything reminds me of a song lyric.  Seriously.  And sometimes I sing them out loud, to the annoyance of everyone around me. OK, most times I sing them out loud.  Sorry in advance.  And I have a tendency to write song parodies on the spot.  Just ask my daughters.  It drives them crazy when I re-write Taylor Swift’s “22” to fit my own most recent birthday.  (Honestly, I thought the line about “drinking Geritol and Red Bull at the same time” was a poetic masterpiece.)

9) My memory for insane amounts of trivial information (and song lyrics!) is unbounded.  My memory for names?  Not so much.  Please don’t be offended if you approach me and I appear not to know who you are.   Again, it’s not you, it’s most definitely me.

10)  I was born and raised in the Bible Belt and finally became a Believer at the ripe old age of 17, after ignoring God’s call to me for roughly 7 years.  I’ve lived a lot of life in my 40-something years and in all the ups and the downs, God has always been there to pick me back up when life knocked me flat.  And believe me, I’ve been knocked flat a LOT.  But for every mistake I’ve made, there was grace.  For every time my heart’s been broken, there was healing.  For every time I felt on top of the world, there was His hand lifting me there.  I’m a firm believer that nothing happens to me without going through God’s hands first, therefore I tend to believe that even the bad things are somehow shaping me into what He intends for me to be.  Nothing is wasted.  There’s my testimony in a nutshell.  🙂

I think my attendance at Allume this year is God-ordained, and yours is too.  The circumstances that led to me actually buying that ticket back in the spring were too well orchestrated for it to be anything but God’s design.  And if He’s sending me there and He’s sending you there too, maybe it’s because we need to meet each other.  Maybe we need to hear each other’s stories.  Can’t wait to meet you!

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7 thoughts on “What You Need to Know About Me Before Allume

  1. So what in the world did I write my list for??? How is it I’ve had your phone number for days and have’t used it once? Craziness! If anyone ever suggests an Allume Trivial Pursuit challenge it is you and me against the WORLD!!! BTW – I am fluent in sarcasm and have a chronic case of snarkolepsy. This is going to be so. much. fun!!!

  2. Oh my sweet sarcastic kindred friend… so much yes to this list! #6 – yes! I strive to be real all the time and treat others as if they are as well – I doubt we’ll have issues with Rock Star problems at Allume! And #7 – Don’t worry – You may be looking at Tonya, but she can’t see you! I think you’re safe!

    I can not WAIT for October to get here so we can meet inrl!

  3. Another kindred spirit… I’m getting the feeling that we could start a “My husband says I snore, but I don’t believe him” club, there are so many of us in the same boat! I won’t tell anyone how many sugar packets you put in if you don’t tell anyone about how many I do. Kay? Can’t wait to meet you ladies in person and put faces to all of the beautiful words.

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