It’s that time of the week again, the best time of the week, when writers near and far join up on Lisa-Jo’s website and share our words without fear. And then, the best part: we travel around the web leaving love in our wake. Want to play along? Go here: http://www.lisajobaker.com. Today’s word: Last. Here we go!
We thought we had our last child long before we actually did. Two pregnancies that ended long, long before their time. The first one we thought was an anomaly, and the doctors assured us that it probably wouldn’t happen again. “Probably”, because who can really be sure? It amuses me that even those well-educated medical professionals can’t truly make a lot of promises concerning pregnancy, because there is so little we humans can control.
But the last time I was pregnant I was sure all would be fine. Even though I dreaded going to the bathroom because I feared seeing some signal that this one would end like the one before. Even though I was scared, I tried to convince myself that it would all be OK.
Except it wasn’t. There came the day when I went in for a routine ultrasound and was told that there would be no baby this time. And days of waiting for nature to take its course. And then the day that I had to check in at a cold, antiseptic outpatient surgery center for a procedure that I don’t allow myself to think about much because it’s just too heartbreaking. And as it turns out, although I didn’t know it then, that was the very last time I would be pregnant.
But it wasn’t our last child, because God had another plan for us. And in His infinite wisdom and His time, we met the baby girl who was and is the perfect fit for our family. When she was placed in my arms for the first time, I felt another piece of the puzzle slide into place.
(I felt like I left that hanging. Sorry! Couldn’t wrap it up all neatly and tie it with a bow during the time left. )